AnarchoSlacker

Hey man,

I’m just a slacker in search of hip friends and kind bud.  I moved to new york city so I could be sophisticated n’ shit, but the man just keeps me down.  You know how it is, I totally had a job at the local Starbucks, but they want me to wash dishes n’ shit.  I am a barista, an artist who’s medium is coffee and coffee-flavored beverages.  I’m not just some dude who cleans shit up, it’s like making dillon tune pianos, or sort cue cards and stuff.

So yeah, I  stood up to jeff, my manager who is such a dick.  I told him that I’m about makin the frappichinos and not about cleaning up the cups and shit that the customers leave.  I told him I am not a wage slave.  Then he took my apron away from me and told me not to come back.  It was so harsh, especially since it’s so cold outside.  so yeah, I’m staying with my girlfriend.  She works at PETA and someday she might get paid too.  Her parents send her money, but she’s not about that.  She’s not one of those trust fund bitches, cause she’s different.  She cuts herself, but it’s cool, because she does it because she loves me.

Later, I’m gonna go out with Brody and Spence and we’re going to go to whole foods.  I can’t belive that those bourgeois fools buy their groceries at the local bodega.  They are totally filling their bodies with toxins and destroying the environment.