It’s May Day
Dude, it’s totally May Day and I’m so pumped about the international labor movement. I just got a job at the coffee shop around the corner from my cardboard box. It’s called “I Shot Fred Mertz” and our secret is that we put flower in the coffee because my boss is a free spirit. His name is Whipperwhirl and he lives in a white Ford Econoline van. So yeah, I’m totally cool with my job, even though the wheels of capitalism are greased with the blood of the workers. I’m still a slacker. I totally look cool in my The North Face jacket when I dip my head any say ‘hey’ when I hand people their cups. It’s not like I’m a button-down worker bee or anything. Whipperwhirl said he might let me work the espresso machine next week if I keep my fingers off his santizer. Last week I put some eggs in there and they es’ploded. I had to contemplate the luminous while sitting in the decision corner and wearing the dumbass hat for being a dumbass. I have to go and clean the egg out of the kitchen appliances with a n-tip. We don’t use Q-tips because they’re made by facists.
Peace!