Archive for May, 2008

Diorama-rama

So yeah, at work we are having a mandatory diorama competition, so mine was of the four food groups.  I used glitter n’ shit to make it all sparkly, but MacKenzie still says it looks like a Tijuana abortion.  He can be a real dick sometimes, especially since his was of the original cast of the Golden Girls.  I wish that I could do something like that, but nobody ever lets me discuss my ideas because they’ll never hand me the talking feather.  My boss is pissed at me too, because after MacKenzie poured malt-o-meal into my diorama, I put it into the dishwasher to make it clean.  It caught fire during the dry cycle and burned up some of the kitchen.  Now we can’t sell pita sandwiches anymore, because all the tasty filling went up in the diorama fire.  Now we have to sell panini sandwiches, whick sucks, because they were invented by facists.  Well, I’m going to go burn a sandwich simultaneously on both sides.

Peace!

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It’s May Day

Dude, it’s totally May Day and I’m so pumped about the international labor movement.  I just got a job at the coffee shop around the corner from my cardboard box.  It’s called “I Shot Fred Mertz” and our secret is that we put flower in the coffee because my boss is a free spirit.  His name is Whipperwhirl and he lives in a white Ford Econoline van.  So yeah, I’m totally cool with my job, even though the wheels of capitalism are greased with the blood of the workers.  I’m still a slacker.  I totally look cool in my The North Face jacket when I dip my head any say ‘hey’ when I hand people their cups.  It’s not like I’m a button-down worker bee or anything.  Whipperwhirl said he might let me work the espresso machine next week if I keep my fingers off his santizer.  Last week I put some eggs in there and they es’ploded.  I had to contemplate the luminous while sitting in the decision corner and wearing the dumbass hat for being a dumbass.  I have to go and clean the egg out of the kitchen appliances with a n-tip.  We don’t use Q-tips because they’re made by facists.

Peace!

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